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lyrics

LYRICS

I’m Crafty,
I got a scrapbook, and a glue stick, and a rug hook.
I got mad skills what you think about that
I’ll rotary cut you on my self healing mat.

I’m Crafty, I do what I like.
Got a deckle edge scissors and a lot of press type.
I use white glue to attach construction paper.
You know I got the moves like Dorothy Draper, I’m crafty.

I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.

Why you be hating, on all my sponge painting.
And the crazy cool borders I’m creating.
Don’t give me crap, cause I ain’t havin’ it.
I’ll rock a crackle finish on my cabinet.

Crafty,
I knit on the subway,
I like to embroider and macramé.
And on a good day, I’ll stop and crochet.
Made a fresh doily for my friend José

Crafty.

I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.

My name is Joe K. I’m the Craft Aggressor™,
Just look at what I make with a tongue depressor
or a lanyard, my box stitch is standard
always got an X-acto knife in my hand, word.

Chillin’ with my hot glue gun and ya know
when I pull the trigger, like my rhyme it flows,
I’ll hot glue a ribbon to a wreath or a basket,
glue a silk flower to my dead homie’s casket

now I’m going plug-free double G, cordless
got a second job, so I can afford this,
’cause my crafting is heartfealt.
And I’ll go crazy on your ass with hot melt.

I got me a can of spray glue,
and you know I use that stuff almost every day too,
And a special brush to apply gold leaf
put that junk in my mouth for some handmade gold teeth.

I like floral wire
my tape’s double sided
a tri-color ink pad
makes me the mac dad
bottle of glitter,
a magnetic sheet
I’ll be making memories up and down the street.

It’s around Christmas time the beginning of December
I be crafting handmade cards that you’ll remember
start with some paper, and a sharp pencil.
Then I go crazy airbrush with a stencil.
Hit it with a rubber stamp once, no twice
then drop the glitter to make it look real nice
glue on some ribbon, embroider some stiches
signed, “from Joe, happy holidays bitches”

I’m crafty.

I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.

I work with Fimo, it came to me in a dream yo,
I made a pattern and I rolled it up like cookie dough
then I sliced it into pieces 2 dozen,
baked it at 350 in my toaster oven

I’m crafty,
you know I’m PC
But I’m not PG
I’ll rubber stamp thee.
Cut out a picture of a scene from the Bahamas
bust into your house and I decoupaged your mama
I’m crafty.

I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.
I’m so crafty.

I use white glue to attach construction paper.
You know I got the moves like Dorothy Draper.

I’m good with my hands if you know what I mean,
embroidered my sweater and bedazzled my jeans.

Don’t give me crap, cause I ain’t havin’ it.
I’ll rock a crackle finish on my cabinet.

Some say I won’t but you know that I will
make an iron-on tee shirt in my George Forman Grill

I glued little gems onto my belt buckle
then quilted a cozy for my brass knuckles

But you know I’m a crafter, and not a fighter
I’ll freestyle a shrinky dink with my lighter

I’m crafty.

------------

credits

from Homie on the Mountain, released December 29, 2013
Words and music by Joe Kowan
Produced by Adam Micheal Rothberg at Pepperland
Performed by J-Krafty and Adam Michael Rothberg

Backup vocals: Julie Rama Winslow
Drums: Dave Jamrog

Mastered by Toby Mountain at Northeastern Digital

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about

J-Krafty Boston, Massachusetts

J-Krafty is back and he's tracking down the Gangsta' of the Forest, Bigfoot. After crafting it up in the 'burbs, J-Krafty took a hiatus from his glue gun to track Sasquatch, studying the elusive, ballin' beast for months. In his latest release, Krafty shares his research, and educates Bigfoot-hatin' homies about the misunderstood playa of the forest. Listen up to "Bigfoot Likes the Ladies". ... more

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